Question #412

We can't have children, but I want my husband to be an elder. What should i do?

My husband and I have both been raised in the Church of Christ and are faithful active members in are local congregation so I am embarrassed to be asking this question but I had a question about premeditated sin. I love the Lord, and my husband very much and know my husbands top goal is to have 4 children and become an Elder in the church one day. I found out about a year ago that I will never be able to have children and we do not want to adopt so I understand he will never be qualified to be an elder without children. I would do anything for my husband except lose my soul for him. If I cheated on him, it would give him an out on our marriage he then, as the innocent party, could remarry and have children and be an elder in the Church of Christ one day. He does not have any idea what I am thinking about so he would not be involved at all. I realize I would have to ask for forgiveness and would never be able to remarry, but would God forgive me for this if it is planned ahead?

From studying I believe God would forgive this situation in a heart beat if it was not premeditated. It seems like a BIG sin at first but all sins are the same in God's eyes and so I am thinking that if God would not forgive this he would not forgive me for a so called small sin like watching a movie I knew I shouldn't watch. Then I think if that statement is true we would all be lost because we all do things we know is wrong ahead of time and then regret it later and ask for forgiveness. I know if I do this I would truly regret it later and be truly repentant. But want to make sure I do not loose my soul in the process.

The Answer:

Questions of this nature are not the type of questions for which this website is intended. It is not a "Dear Abby" column. I hope that you and your husband sat down with an open Bible and discussed the issue together. It is not a decision for you alone. Moreover, there are far too many scriptural solutions available, one of which (adoption) you have already rejected, to even think about standing up in the face of God and doing that which He has prohibited.

God's Plan of Salvation

You must hear the gospel and then understand and recognize that you are lost without Jesus Christ no matter who you are and no matter what your background is. The Bible tells us that “all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23) Before you can be saved, you must understand that you are lost and that the only way to be saved is by obedience to the gospel of Jesus Christ. (2 Thessalonians 1:8) Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” (John 14:6) “Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved.” (Acts 4:12)

You must believe and have faith in God because “without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.” (Hebrews 11:6) But neither belief alone nor faith alone is sufficient to save. (James 2:19; James 2:24; Matthew 7:21)

You must repent of your sins. (Acts 3:19) But repentance alone is not enough. The so-called “Sinner’s Prayer” that you hear so much about today from denominational preachers does not appear anywhere in the Bible. Indeed, nowhere in the Bible was anyone ever told to pray the “Sinner’s Prayer” to be saved. By contrast, there are numerous examples showing that prayer alone does not save. Saul, for example, prayed following his meeting with Jesus on the road to Damascus (Acts 9:11), but Saul was still in his sins when Ananias met him three days later (Acts 22:16). Cornelius prayed to God always, and yet there was something else he needed to do to be saved (Acts 10:2, 6, 33, 48). If prayer alone did not save Saul or Cornelius, prayer alone will not save you. You must obey the gospel. (2 Thess. 1:8)

You must confess that Jesus Christ is the Son of God. (Romans 10:9-10) Note that you do NOT need to make Jesus “Lord of your life.” Why? Because Jesus is already Lord of your life whether or not you have obeyed his gospel. Indeed, we obey him, not to make him Lord, but because he already is Lord. (Acts 2:36) Also, no one in the Bible was ever told to just “accept Jesus as your personal savior.” We must confess that Jesus is the Son of God, but, as with faith and repentance, confession alone does not save. (Matthew 7:21)

Having believed, repented, and confessed that Jesus is the Son of God, you must be baptized for the remission of your sins. (Acts 2:38) It is at this point (and not before) that your sins are forgiven. (Acts 22:16) It is impossible to proclaim the gospel of Jesus Christ without teaching the absolute necessity of baptism for salvation. (Acts 8:35-36; Romans 6:3-4; 1 Peter 3:21) Anyone who responds to the question in Acts 2:37 with an answer that contradicts Acts 2:38 is NOT proclaiming the gospel of Jesus Christ!

Once you are saved, God adds you to his church and writes your name in the Book of Life. (Acts 2:47; Philippians 4:3) To continue in God’s grace, you must continue to serve God faithfully until death. Unless they remain faithful, those who are in God’s grace will fall from grace, and those whose names are in the Book of Life will have their names blotted out of that book. (Revelation 2:10; Revelation 3:5; Galatians 5:4)