Ps 127:3-5
INTRO: In five previous lessons I have talked about the things fathers can teach their children. In the course of that series of lessons it occurred to me that the demeanor of dads could be just as important as what dads teach. If demeanor and manner are not right, not much a dad attempts to teach will make an impact. Tonight I want to mention some important things about our demeanor, our manner, our behavior toward our children.
I. EXPRESS LOVE AND AFFECTION
A. Western men are typically less demonstrative than women
1. some men are so reserved youd hardly know they felt
2. the father in Mary Poppins is perhaps an exaggeration - but not atypical
B. Children need to know dads love them! (Prov 3:12)
1. oh, they know instinctively - Im not so sure of that in view of our culture and societal problems
2. words of affection; touch; deeds; time
II. FORSAKE CARPING CRITICISM
A. Perhaps we think this is motivational
1. we may not realize how such hurts
2. we need to accept legitimate limitations - individual differences - and be sure we are encouraging
III. SPEAK KINDLY TO YOUR CHILDREN
A. I hear dads who sound like drill sergeants
1. cutting, biting, harsh ... even in conversation
2. dads are often domineering, tyranical - label children with dumb - stupid - sissy, etc.
B. Note 1 Thes 2:7 in context with v.11
1. gentleness is not unmanly - is Christian
2. children will respect and learn from manly gentleness!
IV. LISTEN ATTENTIVELY TO YOUR CHILDREN
A. Husbands, fathers not typically good listeners
1. and we miss so much because we listen poorly
2. the messages we miss about our children as they talk and we dont listen can be critical
B. Be available - be accessible - be patient
1. I hear dads complain children dont talk to them - perhaps the problem is with us, dads
2. Prov 18:13 may speak to one of our problems here
V. BE FIRM - WITH REASONABLE LIMITS, EXPECTATIONS
A. Dads cannot be spineless pushovers
1. but with firmness there needs to be reason
2. dads are good at being arbitrary - I know from experience ... and there must be expectations, guidelines
B. Moral, spiritual things not negotiable
1. Joyce and I together made this decision before there were children - and yes means yes; no means no
2. what is wise and edifying is not for compromise - but in some of our arbitrary things we have been able to negotiate
VI. SUPPORT YOUR CHILDREN IN DIFFICULTY
A. Dad means strength to children
1. when troubles come through mistakes in judgment, foolish errors, they need dads strength
2. I do not mean approval - I mean they are our children and need our everlasting arms around them (Deut 33:27)
B. I like to think of 2 Tim 4:17a as comparable
1. yes, some things must be borne alone ... but there can be the accompanying strength of dad
2. your children will never forget your standing with them
CLOSE: Enjoy your children openly. Let the world know the joy they bring you. You will be forever glad you enjoyed them.
Cecil A. Hutson
10 October 1999
You Must Hear the Gospel
Romans 10:17
You must hear the gospel and then understand and recognize that you are lost without Jesus Christ no matter who you are and no matter what your background is. The Bible tells us that “all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23) Before you can be saved, you must understand that you are lost and that the only way to be saved is by obedience to the gospel of Jesus Christ. (2 Thessalonians 1:8) Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” (John 14:6) “Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved.” (Acts 4:12) "So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God." (Romans 10:17)
You Must Believe
Hebrews 11:6
You must believe and have faith in God because “without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.” (Hebrews 11:6) But neither belief alone nor faith alone is sufficient to save. (James 2:19; James 2:24; Matthew 7:21)
You Must Repent
Acts 3:19
You must repent of your sins. (Acts 3:19) But repentance alone is not enough. The so-called “Sinner’s Prayer” that you hear so much about today from denominational preachers does not appear anywhere in the Bible. Indeed, nowhere in the Bible was anyone ever told to pray the “Sinner’s Prayer” to be saved. By contrast, there are numerous examples showing that prayer alone does not save. Saul, for example, prayed following his meeting with Jesus on the road to Damascus (Acts 9:11), but Saul was still in his sins when Ananias met him three days later (Acts 22:16). Cornelius prayed to God always, and yet there was something else he needed to do to be saved (Acts 10:2, 6, 33, 48). If prayer alone did not save Saul or Cornelius, prayer alone will not save you. You must obey the gospel. (2 Thess. 1:8)
You Must Confess
Romans 10:9
You must confess that Jesus Christ is the Son of God. (Romans 10:9-10) Note that you do NOT need to make Jesus “Lord of your life.” Why? Because Jesus is already Lord of your life whether or not you have obeyed his gospel. Indeed, we obey him, not to make him Lord, but because he already is Lord. (Acts 2:36) Also, no one in the Bible was ever told to just “accept Jesus as your personal savior.” We must confess that Jesus is the Son of God, but, as with faith and repentance, confession alone does not save. (Matthew 7:21)
You Must Be Baptized
Acts 2:38
Having believed, repented, and confessed that Jesus is the Son of God, you must be baptized for the remission of your sins. (Acts 2:38) It is at this point (and not before) that your sins are forgiven. (Acts 22:16) It is impossible to proclaim the gospel of Jesus Christ without teaching the absolute necessity of baptism for salvation. (Acts 8:35-36; Romans 6:3-4; 1 Peter 3:21) Anyone who responds to the question in Acts 2:37 with an answer that contradicts Acts 2:38 is NOT proclaiming the gospel of Jesus Christ!
You Must Be Faithful Unto Death
Revelation 2:10
Once you are saved, God adds you to his church and writes your name in the Book of Life. (Acts 2:47; Philippians 4:3) To continue in God’s grace, you must continue to serve God faithfully until death. Unless they remain faithful, those who are in God’s grace will fall from grace, and those whose names are in the Book of Life will have their names blotted out of that book. (Revelation 2:10; Revelation 3:5; Galatians 5:4)